Week 2 of my second round of the MKMMA experience and I was faced with obstacles which seemed to impede my progress in the course. I wrote of facing obstacles previously (https://masterkeymiltona.wordpress.com/2015/11/08/week-6-mkmma-ordinary-life-vs-extraordinary-life/) wherein I questioned whether I wanted an ordinary life or an extraordinary life. My choice – an extraordinary life.
However, when faced with obstacles again I seemed to have somewhat lost my momentum to achieving an extraordinary life (or perhaps its just my gratitude for life that is flailing). As I reflect on my last post the obstacles I wrote of seem frivolous in comparison to what life has put in my path now. As I write this I am finding it difficult to find the words to explain the “obstacle” that has been put in my path so perhaps the best way is to be factual – my 15 year old son is suffering from acute first episode psychosis. As a result he has been hopsitalised for almost 6 weeks and at times does not recognise me as his mother.
I have grieved the loss of my son as he once was and am working on embracing my son for who he is now and who he will be. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason however, I at this stage I unable to grasp that reason.
Noting the outside world reflects the inside world, I was lead to the question “Are obstacles self imposed?” The short answer “Yes” but now I am faced with asking myself the hard question “Where in my ‘inside world’ am I suffering such turmoil?”
I will share the answer with you soon.